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This is my follow up post on the topic “Exercising”. Today I’d like to highlight the importance of postnatal exercise!
A quick recap: Pre-babies I was a very enthusiastic cyclist and runner. There was a fair bit of weight lifting, regular Les Mills BodyPump classes, spin classes and yoga at the gym, too. I was a regular Parkrun attendee. I was the kind of person who would get up at 5.30 on a Sunday morning to drive to a 10k race at the other side of Scotland to run – and the crazy thing is I had a few friends and a husband who like doing the same!
Again, I’m not telling you this to brag. I’m telling you this because when I became pregnant, everything changed! After our daughter was born, everything was different.
Keeping fit and doing regular exercising turned out to be a far bigger challenge than I ever anticipated!
First and foremost – Pelvic Floor Exercises
Pelvic floor exercises are so important!
You don’t need to have been a fit person with a strict fitness regime. Pelvic floor exercises are something that every new mother should do and is not to be underestimated!
During pregnancy, and during birth, our bodies are put to their limits. Quite literally if you take just our muscles! We carry a baby inside of us for nine months and during those months there are some great big changes happening inside of us. Organs are literally squeezed or shifted to make room for this growing human. Skin stretches. Muscles are on overdrive. Particularly during birth when the baby passes through the birth canal our muscles are stretched to their maximum.
Pelvic floor exercises are a very successful method to work on our overstretched muscles and help bring them back to shape. The practice of pelvic floor exercises will probably not have an immediate effect but they will most certainly prove themselves during advanced age. Bladder control is one of the key words!
Every midwife and health visitor will tell you of the importance and the benefits of regular pelvic floor exercises and I am going to do the same: Do it!
Exercise after birth
When it will be the right time to start or resume exercising will largely depend on the individual and, of course, their birth circumstances.
For different births there will be different recoveries. Naturally, a caesarean delivery will require a much longer recovery than a vaginal birth.
Each person also has different personal circumstances. The mother’s previous fitness, pregnancy conditions, weight gain during pregnancy and many other things will have an impact on just how quickly one can “bounce back”.
But is it really that simple? Do you just “Bounce back”?
Finding the time
The lack of time has certainly been my main reason for not being able to do as much exercising as I would like.
Having a baby literally changed everything. All children are different and parents have different experiences, of course. Now, while some parents have children who are quite content from the beginning my reality was very different.
With Cora I wasn’t even able to put her down for 2 Minutes to use the toilet without her being really upset and crying. She literally needed held 24/7. We had a bouncing chair, a Moses basket, a Mamaroo rocker but none of those worked. Cora lived in my sling or she slept on me or David.
Even getting a half hour to do some basic yoga or a quick escape on my spin bike wasn’t on the cards.
Then of course I was breastfeeding as well. I was breastfeeding a lot. (In fact, I still am.)
This meant that I couldn’t be away for any length of time and leave Cora with David; I had to be around.
Comparing my two daughters my second-born Keeley is definitely the less challenging one so far. A great example how children are different even though they are raised the same way. Keeley also loves to be held and sleeps better when held but we are also able to put her down and don’t have to hold her all day. When she was still really young she was quite comfortable to stay in the Mamaroo rocker, too, for example.
Having two children so young, there is simply no time at all 😀
For many parents the evening may be the only time they would find some time for themselves. This is especially true if your partner works all day and the only child-free spare time you have is in the evening. Perhaps evenings are the only times you manage to catch up with housework or you have to go to work. Not to forget time for you and your partner.
There just aren’t enough hours in the day.
Further down below I touched on a few tools that may be helpful to you.
Tiredness
The lack of sleep and just general knackeredness from parenting all day is also a big reason. Many days you are just too tired or too worn out to even think about exercising.
Catching up on sleep or just sitting down, switching off and perhaps watching a programme on Netflix is also very important – and it’s often much more inviting than working up a sweat.
Many times both myself and David have found ourselves fall asleep when putting Cora to bed. As we sing our eldest to sleep, or whisper to her to make her drift to sleep we often aren’t far behind her.
It’s probably most commonly a mixture of having too little or no time and being too tired .
And that is okay – as long as you are okay with it!
Guilt and the rut
I wasn’t okay with it. The less fit I was getting the harder any exercise became when I eventually took the time to do it.
Riding my bike was not an option for a long time because I couldn’t be away from my breastfeeding children for too long. Plus without any help or childcare I was limited to the times when David was home.
Running became my go to exercise but the weight gain, my lack of fitness and the slow pace made running unenjoyable for me. My running pace was slow. I enjoyed running less and less, too, because it was hard work. Running took longer. It took more effort than before.
I was in a rut.
I was forever beating myself up and comparing my current fitness to before. I knew fine I shouldn’t compare but I did it anyway.
I kept trying to remind myself that I had a newborn – and then two under 2s – and that the feelings I was experiencing were normal. I kept having to tell myself that each time I got out of the house to run or each time I exercised was great effort. That I would still lap anyone who sat on their couches.
I think this guilt I have experienced was a normal thing for me to feel. Probably because of the excessive levels of exercising I did before I had my daughters and the complete opposite my life was now.
Have you felt anything similar? Please comment below and share your experiences.
Exercising and the impact it can have on your mental health
This leads me to the next topic: The positive impact exercising can have on your mental health. There are many studies that address this topic – just think of the release of endorphins while exercising.
Certainly my own experience confirms this, too.
Having a baby literally changed everything. There is this completely, utterly dependant little, wiggly baby and they need your attention ALL THE TIME.
Time for yourself may become a very rare occasion. You have the weight of responsibility sitting on your shoulders, there is potentially mum-guilt involved and you may feel low about yourself, your post partum body and/or your body weight already.
That’s why it is so important that as parents we must lift each other up and support each other and not put each other down and judge.
There can be so much inspiration from other exercising parents!
Being able to go for a run or go to the gym for your favourite class or relax a little during a yoga exercise also means you will have a little me-time. Some time to focus on yourself and on your well-being.
As you begin to exercise regularly you will hopefully begin fairly quickly to see the positive impact exercising can have on your physical and mental well-being. Depending on the nature of the exercising and how regular you are able to exercise you may also find that you lose weight which in turn can also be very uplifting for your spirits.
It’s a win win all around!
Postpartum exercising – the physical struggles
Following pregnancy and birth it is probably inevitable that you may feel uncomfortable at some point.
Above I have already touched on different recovery times depending on pregnancy and birth. This is why it is important that you try not to put too much pressure on yourself, especially during the early days.
Depending on how much or little you have exercised prior to being pregnant and during pregnancy, postpartum exercise may also be more physically challenging for you.
There is no shame in starting small. It is also important to be realistic. You may have run marathons pre-birth but that doesn’t mean that you can just nip out and run a full marathon three weeks after having a baby. Small steps – a life lesson I had to learn the hard way myself.
It’s important that you find the kind of exercise that is right for you so that you are able to enjoy the exercising and make use of the benefits.
The most common types of exercises are the following:
- Cycling
- Running
- Couch 2 5K or Couch 2 10K Programmes
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Swimming
- Gym classes
- Weight lifting
- Hula hooping
- Walking
- Hillwalking
Please note that depending on the nature of your birth there may be certain kinds of exercises that you are unable to do, either temporarily or permanently. This can be particularly true of c-section births and it is important that you discuss any queries with your GP or health visitor.
To have time to yourself can be a very rare occasion.
That’s why it is even more important that you try and take some time just for yourself.
Now I know how ridiculous this sounds – I’m there most days of the week myself. It isn’t just the children who take up all your time but, of course, all your other responsibilities such as work, housework, animals/pets, etc.. In my own life my schedule is so tightly packed every day that I really, really struggle most days.
Below are some examples of things that can help:
Scheduling
This is a very useful tool, especially if you work from home like I do.
Scheduling basically means planning your day out, having a to-do list and set certain times for certain things. It helps you stay organised and focused. Prioritising your activities and chores is part of your daily schedule (see below) and will help you focus on the important things. Scheduling means you plan to TAKE time for certain things in your life and fit the rest of the day around it where possible.
I’m a bit sketchy at scheduling, still, myself but I know it works. I just need to be on the ball with it more!
Prioritise
Prioritising your day is typically part of your scheduling. Obviously priorities are personal to each individual so you will need to find out what’s most important for you!
Obviously there are some things we cannot neglect, like getting our children and pets fed and watered or getting the kids washed and dressed.
A pile of washing could potentially wait to be sorted until the evening time if it instead means you can catch up with something else.
Routines
Having your set routines can be very beneficial for both you and your children. It is common parenting advice to have a routine and a structured day for your children.
Routines basically just mean that certain things happen at certain times every day, e.g. naps, bath time, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack times.
As part of your scheduling you would then take your children’s routines into consideration.
Now, routines are a swear word in my house. I love a routine. Yet the fact that reality can obviously get in the way of any perfect routine has given me a lot of struggle over the years. Yes, we do follow certain routines but personally I found I can get way too hung up on “sticking to our routine” and then can get very worked up when they don’t happen. I now make a point of cutting myself more slack when this happens because at points in the past I have been very unwell due to thinking wrongly about how this part of my parenting journey should be.
Getting up half an hour earlier
This may sound crazy to some of you – but I know some parents do this and swear by it.
Getting up a half hour or hour earlier before your children do can allow you to recharge, perhaps do some yoga, or just sit and chill and have that cup of coffee and drink it while it’s hot for a change.
Personally, it’s not for me. I like bed too much. I get up earlier occasionally but unfortunately in our house getting up before the children is placed somewhere around 5 am and I just can’t do it. But that’s just me!
Like I said, I know a few mums who get up earlier most mornings and get their me-time in then. You need to do whatever works for you!
Ask for help
Asking for help can be difficult.
Especially if you have no close by family who could help out.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Nothing at all. I’m not very good at asking for help myself either. For starters, I don’t have a closely-knitted family support network around me due to estrangement and my own parents are in Germany.
I have friends, of course, but they all live their own lives and I tend to only ask for their help in absolute emergencies. Thankfully I have a few very dear friends who are literally my family and on whom I know I can rely on 100%.
One fantastic resource is Home Start.
Home Start are a charity which sends out volunteers to families who struggle and those volunteers can lend parents a hand with their children.
I have had such a fantastic experience with Home Start and the local coordinator as well as my former volunteer helper have been absolutely wonderful. Home Start provide you with any help you need; while the volunteer will not do any household chores they will look after your children to allow you to do so; they can help you shopping or just play with your children while you run errands, catch up with half an hour sleep or do some exercising.
Home Start recognise the importance of exercise for parents and therefore support you, should you wish to do some exercise while the volunteer looks after your children. This is what allowed me to find my way back into regular running and I am very grateful for that.
It will hopefully get easier as the children grow older (I think?)
Well, this is certainly a hope I personally have.
Again, this will depend on the individual, their work situation and other things.
Once the children will attend nursery or school regularly there will hopefully be a little more time for yourself.
Our children don’t stay so wee for very long. I always have to remind myself of that, too!
That’s another reason why it is important that we are not too hard on ourselves. There will be days where we miss our offspring to be so little and we shouldn’t wish those days away. It’s important that we find our flow and don’t get too stressed and worked up, where possible. Parenting is hard – a big reason why we should try and be well, healthy and evened out so that we are able to enjoy this journey.
I hope this blog post has been of help for some of you! As always, feel free to comment below with your own experiences! I would love to hear from you!
Please keep an eye out for one of my upcoming guest blog posts with a local Pilates instructor Tracy Ward from Stonehaven. Tracy will focus on post- and prenatal exercising and I look forward to sharing her experiences with you all.
Take care
Teresa
Please note: I am not a medical professional. All my above advice is from personal experience only and what was right for me might not be right for everyone. Always double check with your health professional or personal trainer and – as always – listen to your body!
