On Friday morning I had my show. ‘Finally! A sign things are progressing’, I thought. I started having contractions on Friday late afternoon, the sensation was like a tightening or cramping from within. I’m not sure I fully noticed when they started but after a few I turned to Tony (in the supermarket aisle) and excitedly said – I think something might be happening! Later that evening we went for a curry. Our second spicy meal that week. We’d been trying everything – reflexology, clary sage, pineapples, nipple stimulation, raspberry leaf tea… Who knows which one did the trick?! By this time the contractions had been coming every half an hour and they continued until about 11:30pm when they just stopped altogether only to start up again at 5am at thirty minute intervals.

Later on Saturday they became irregular but after a walk they regained momentum and intensity by the early evening. I relaxed, put some clary sage in the oil burner, got on all fours with my arms on the birthing ball and watched a funny movie. The surges started coming every 15 minutes and then, after just an hour or so, every 5! I had to stop running my bath and head for the hospital. I thought the change from home to the car to the hospital might slow things down but the surges intensified and got closer together.

The midwives were helping with another delivery when I arrived around 8pm so they left me in the room before checks. The room was really nice, not too medical. At 9pm I was still managing surges with the breath and the hypnobirthing tracks in the background. I was checked and disheartened to hear I was only 2cm dilated but my cervix was very thin. I think, at this point, the midwife thought I would be heading back home to progress but we were waiting on my blood results for my low platelets. I continued to try and breathe slowly, visualising the balloon, standing up and leaning on Tony with my arms around the back of his neck. (Quite tightly it seemed from the bruises I noticed afterwards!)

At 10:30 I asked to be checked again. I was 5cm. By this time the TENS machine was on but I’m not sure how much it was helping. (There was a funny moment when Sally, our midwife, left and said ‘press the button if you need anything’ however there’s a boost button on the TENS machine for when surges come…I said to Tony with colourful language, ‘press that button!’ And he ran around the bed ‘not that one!!!’ Another funny one was when I looked at Tony in sheer disgust and said, ‘take that red hoodie off right now I can’t even bear to look at it anymore.’ It’s quite a nice hoodie too..!)

By now I was on the bed on my back and side and with each surge gripping the handrail above my head with my right hand. My shoulder started to ache. My whole body from my chest down was rock hard with tension despite my attempts to relax. It’s like there were two battles in my mind, one full of panic and pain and the other saying I can do this, I’ve been preparing for this, calm down. The sensations started changing. I knew baby was moving down. I wanted to give him space inside, I wanted to get off the bed but the pool was getting cleaned. ‘Please let it be ready again soon,’ I thought. I desperately didn’t want to be on the bed but didn’t feel I could move to get off. My waters broke with a pop and a gush. I was hot and Tony pressed a cool flannel to my head. I took his hand instead of the bed frame and gripped so tight but I wasn’t aware. My controlled noises with out breaths were becoming louder and less controlled now and I asked about pain relief. I was offered pills, gas and air or morphine which I considered between surges and I took gas and air. My breathing became more controlled. There was a moment I switched from shouting – ‘I can’t I can’t I can’t!’ to – ‘I can!’

I used my anchor word – lavender. I could feel him moving down and I knew it would be soon. ‘I’ve got this!’ I thought. I used the time between contractions to say, ‘we’re just having a little rest’ and breathed deeply. During surges I made noises but they were less panicked now I had my gas and air. I even said ‘he’s waiting for the pool’ and thank goodness the pool was ready. They wheeled me through to the room and I readied myself for the shift from bed to tub, the few footsteps and two steps up to the rim off the tub had become mountains to my mind. I had one surge in the new room. My birth affirmations and hypnobirthing backing tracks were playing in the background. The stupid TENS machine pads were taken off and as I moved toward the water I peeled off my bra with as much wild abandon as I could muster and said, ‘so much for my bikini’!

The water was such sweet relief. I moved to all fours and to my side while having a few more surges. I could feel his head which made me so happy. I was breathing downwards, there was no pushing. I kept asking ‘can you see anything?’ And then his whole head was here! I could see my baby!
I was so elated. We’d done it. I was smiling and calm. I said to Sally, ‘It won’t be any worse now will it!?’ so reassured that the main part was over. With one more big surge his body came swimming into the world and I received my son into my arms. His lungs emptied and he let out a great big cry. I held him up and told him how much I love him and how clever he is for working so hard and doing everything right during birth.

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