Related Posts
Hello all!
Welcome to today’s blog post with my chosen topic: Two under 2s!
That is the situation I currently find myself in. For another month, anyway!
My husband David and I found out that we were expecting another child when Cora was five months old. We hadn’t planned for it, exactly, but neither had we tried to prevent it. We wanted more children so overall the news was positive, of course, and we were excited and looking forward to meeting Cora’s sibling when the time came.
However, I would lie if I claimed that the close age gap hasn’t been a scary thought. It still can be, at times!
It’s difficult to describe the feelings I have experienced; I was happy and all over the moon to have another baby but at the same time I went through thick feelings of anxiety and worry. Those in turn made me feel incredibly guilty at points. Like, I shouldn’t feel negative – I should be happy!
Mum guilt was way too real, too. Was I still going to be able to be the Mum for Cora I wanted to be while she has to share me? The Mum I would have been had I not been pregnant again.
I was concerned about breastfeeding and whether my milk might change during pregnancy. I was passionate about breastfeeding and originally wanted to nurse Cora for as long as possible; this new pregnancy could potentially mean that I won’t even be able to feed her beyond 12 months.
Then David and I would talk about the positives and find joy in the wonderful thought of how close our two children would grow up, being so close in ages. We would imagine how the children would play together and become inseparable.
Anyone who knew we were having another child so fairly soon after Cora would tell us:
- How difficult the first two or three years were going to be
- How easy it would become once they are old enough to entertain each other
We also have two pre-school age nephews in the family whose age gap is also 14 months so we saw first hand how difficult it could be, indeed, to have two kids so young.
Another aspect of Mum guilt was that I was less able to enjoy my second pregnancy compared to my first. My then under-1 year old Cora kept me on my toes all day, every day. Being pregnant with Cora I tracked every week, read up on baby’s development in the womb, I knew which fruit or vegetable size the foetus was and I took specific time to just chill, relax and enjoy it being just the two of us. This was incredibly tricky, almost impossible, while caring for a baby and working at the same time.
More Mum guilt as my pregnancy became more advanced, the bump grew and I became less mobile. Playing wild, front carrying and other things became too hard or not doable at all with Cora. I ended up back-carrying Cora a lot as a compromise.
Breastfeeding a baby while being pregnant was another challenge, as I already mentioned above. This is a big enough topic to warrant its own blog post, so keep your eyes peeled for an update!
To summarise it, I did it! It worked, many of my worries were luckily unfounded, Cora fed all the way through and at age 2 still nurses (actually more than her sister. Another future blog post!).
Fast forward to today: We go through phases where it is extremely easy or extremely difficult!
We co-sleep with both and it works great for us as both girls breastfeed during the night. The girls’ bond is already very apparent and it’s heart melting to watch them!
Cora is too young to be properly jealous of her sister so that definitely is a big bonus.
I would say the most difficult times are nap and bed times when I’m on my own with my daughters, usually if David is at work, as Cora requires nursing or cuddling (or both) to sleep. This in turn means having to leave Keeley on her own and has resulted in many tears for both her and me. We have nobody who could reliably help us, and no family support available so unfortunately it is a matter of just having to leave Keeley. Covid-19 lockdown has been a blessing for us in that regard as David had been off work and was able to help me through the most difficult times.
As the girls become older we already see them play together, Cora cuddling with Keeley and giving her kisses and it’s a little peek of what is yet to come!
Another bonus is that we have two girls and Keeley is wearing most of Cora’s clothes <3
We go through waves of it being difficult or wonderful. Perhaps that is entirely normal!
One thing I know is that I wouldn’t change it for the world and that we look forward to the coming years seeing them grow up together!
I hope you enjoyed this wee read!
See you soon
Teresa
